The Beginning Read online

  It was then that I cringed a little, hoping I did the right thing by coming back here. “I kind of told the clerk I was Jimmy’s cousin. I hope you’re not upset, but Zoe is out in the waiting room, and she is going out of her mind with worry. I had to do something.”

  Annette looks over to the other side of the room, and I see Jimmy’s father, Mark. As he comes over to greet me, Annette goes to stop him. “Oh, my goodness, I didn’t even think. I feel so horrible. Mark,” He comes to a standstill and looks at her. “Zoe is out in the waiting room; can you go and get her? The poor dear must be a mess.” Annette sounds as if she’s going to cry.

  “Not a problem,” he responds as he begins to walk out of the room.

  “Mark,” I call, and he turns to face me. “Mitchell’s also with her. Could you please tell him I’ll be out in a few minutes?” I ask.

  “Nonsense, Mitchell is family. You all are. I’ll be back in a minute, my pet.” Mark smiles, then walks off down the corridor, out of sight.

  Mark has called me, ‘pet’ my entire life. You see, Annette grew up with my father, they were best friends from an early age, so naturally, Jimmy and I have grown up to be like brother and sister. I have a whole extended family I love just as much as I do my actual blood relatives.

  Zoe and I met in primary school and had been glued to one another since. And of course, Jimmy took an instant shine to her. They quickly became friends, and their relationship has grown and blossomed over the years.

  Annette takes a seat on one of the hard plastic chairs, and I drop into the seat beside her, turning my body, so I’m facing her and taking her hands in mine. “Annette, do you know what exactly happened?” I ask carefully.

  Her face is filled with sadness. “One of the officers that were called out to the scene explained that Jimmy wasn’t in the wrong. According to the witness statements, he was slowing down for the red light, but as he was doing that, the lights turned green, so he began to speed up again. The driver who hit him had run a red light.”

  “What an idiot,” I say, shaking my head in disbelief. Why is it so hard for people to obey the damn road laws?

  Annette looks down at her lap. “Yes, well, that idiot died on impact. I hate to be the one to say it, but I don’t feel sorry for him, I do however feel for his family. A family has now been torn apart by their son, nephew, or brother because he was in such a hurry that he ran a red light. But even if he had survived the accident, he would have never survived my wrath.” She shakes her head, clearly distressed.

  Ducking my head, I make eye contact. “You have every right in the world to feel that way.” I give her a sad yet sympathetic smile. “What are they saying is wrong with Jimmy? Do you know what condition he was in when he was brought in?” I ask sheepishly. I have no idea if she’s ready to talk about it, but I also know Annette is strong enough to tell me if she isn’t ready to push on.

  She opens her mouth to answer, but Mark walks into the room with Zoe in his arms and Mitchell in tow. Zoe is gripping onto Mark’s free hand while his other is around her waist keeping her upright.

  Mitchell comes over, leans in, and give's Annette a kiss on the cheek. “Oh Mitchell, thank you for coming and comforting Zoe. It was lovely of you,” she attempts a smile. She then turns to Zoe, and I can see the regret she has in her eyes. “Zoe, my girl, I am so sorry you were out there on your own before Mitchell and Cassie arrived. I wasn’t thinking. I should have checked in, called you, or done something. Please forgive me?” Annette pleads.

  Zoe sits down on the other side of her. “Don’t be silly, you have a lot on your mind,” she tells her through her tears.

  Annette takes her in her arms and pats her head. “So do you, my dear girl. Jimmy is your partner. You are probably just as worried as Mark, and I are.” They continue to cling to one another.

  Zoe pulls her head back and wipes away her tears. “It’s okay. Do you know what condition he was in before he went in for the surgery?” Zoe asks.

  Annette looks up at me for a moment, then turns her attention back to Zoe. “I was just about to fill Cassie in when you walked through the door. From what they could tell, his right arm and leg were broken in several places. But they won’t know if there is any internal damage until they're in surgery.”

  Zoe takes in a deep breath, and while she does that, I say to Annette, “I hope to hell there isn’t any internal damage.” I look over to Mitch who’s standing very quietly on the other side of the room, close to Mark. “How about we go and get some coffee for everyone?” I suggest and the others nod.

  “No problem. I’ll be back soon," Mitchell offers.

  Hopping up, I tell him, “I’ll come with you,” I look over at Annette. “We’ll be right back.”

  “Thank you,” she says in a whisper.

  As we walk toward the café, I’m awkwardly holding onto Mitchell. I have my arms wrapped tightly around his waist, my head under his chin, holding onto him for dear life.

  Just watching Zoe and how distressed she was, makes me think, ‘What if it were Mitchell lying there?’ I know I'd be beside myself with worry. I don’t think I’d be able to hold my composure as well as she has. I truly admire her strength.

  Mitchell must be thinking along the same line because he's holding onto me too.

  As we arrive at the café, I stand in place staring at the board. “Should we get them some healthy, gluten-free muffins to pick at?” Mitchell asks, and I give him a stern look. “Just kidding. How many doughnuts should I order?” he chuckles.

  “That’s better. I think six will be enough.”

  “So, that’s your six, and I’ll order another four for the rest of us?” he grins down at me.

  I can’t help but laugh. “You’re freaking hilarious,” I respond sarcastically.

  Even though I’m only a size eight and five foot four, I can easily put away four doughnuts. But because I don’t want to look like a pig in the waiting room, I only order one for myself.

  While waiting for our order, I take a seat in Mitchell’s lap and hold him close to me. So close. It was as if I was scared he could be pulled away from me at a moment’s notice.

  As soon as our order is called, we carry the coffees and doughnuts back to the waiting room, where there’s a man in scrubs speaking with Mark and Annette. I come to a halt once I’m in earshot.

  “He has a pneumothorax or in layman's terms, a punctured lung,” the surgeon explains.

  Mark speaks up. “What should we expect?”

  The doctor shifts his feet under him, then looks up at Mark. “I’m not going to lie to you. He is on the critical list, and I can’t promise you that he will pull through this,” he says as he lowers his head.

  As the surgeon says those last words, I see Annette and Zoe cling to one another, crying. But as I stand with my mouth agape, I feel Mitchell’s arms slide over my waist, and he pulls me into him.

  Suddenly, I look toward Mark, and his facial expression scares the shit out of me. It’s like he isn’t with us; it’s as if he's an empty shell. I see him begin to waver on his feet and he grabs at his chest. I drop the bag of doughnuts in my hand, and I race toward him. Mitchell notices it also, and he reaches Mark before I can. He manages to catch him in his arms before slowly lowering him to the ground. His eyes are still open, but they are open and empty. I scream his name, but the Mark I know, the Mark I grew up with, isn’t there.

  The surgeon falls to his knees beside me. He then put his ear to Mark’s mouth.

  “He’s still breathing, but it is shallow.” The doctor then screams out to the porters, “Get a gurney in here, now!”

  Two porters hurry into the waiting area. When they see what’s happening, one of the men ushers us out of the waiting room wanting to give the doctor room to do what must be done.

  I watch as doctors and nurses run in and out of the room and a minute later, I watch as they whisk Mark off to another section of the hospital.

  A nurse then comes over to us, letting our group
know that we can go back to the surgical waiting room, but before she has a chance to leave, I pounce on her. “Excuse me?”

  She stops in her tracks. “Yes, can I help you?”

  “Sorry to bother you, but I just want to ask if someone will know to come here and give us an update on Mark?” I ask.

  She smiles and nods. “I will be sure to tell them you are down here. You’re having a rotten day.” She places her hand on my shoulder.

  “Rotten is just the tip of the iceberg. Thank you for your help.”

  “It’s no trouble. If you need anything, just come and find me. My shift’s just begun, so I'll be hovering around here for another twelve hours.” She lets go of my shoulder but keeps the smile.

  “Thank you. I’d better get back in there.” I point in Annette’s direction.

  There’s an eerie silence that hangs in the room as we’re all still in a state of shock. Today’s events will exhaust us for days to come, maybe even months. It soon becomes unclear who we should be worrying about more at this point, Jimmy or Mark?

  An hour later, a doctor comes in and informs us that Mark is now stable. He also tells us what we already guessed, that the cause of his collapse was a heart attack induced by stress.

  Annette leaves the room to be by Mark’s side, but she asks us to come and get her when there is news about Jimmy.

  Just as I’m about to make my third trip to the café, Jimmy’s surgeon walks in, and I come to a halt. “Doctor, how’s Jimmy?” I ask in a rush.

  He looks down at his clipboard and then back up at me. “He’s still critical, but stable. You may see him, but please don’t stay too long as he needs to rest.” He smiles, but it's a smile that tells me he isn’t sure what will happen next and that I'm not to get my hopes up.

  I try to return the gesture, but I fail miserably. I can’t even fake a smile, at the moment. There's just too much going on and there are too many lives that are hanging in the balance. “Thank you, Doctor. I’ll go find his mother and let her she can see him,” I say.

  Zoe and Mitchell wait behind while I go to tell Annette the latest news on Jimmy’s condition and that she can visit him for a brief period.

  When I enter the room, the first thing I see is Mark’s very pale body lying on the bed. I gently place my hand on Annette’s shoulder, and she looks up at me. “Cassie, love. Is everything okay?” She wipes the tears away from her eyes.

  Smiling down at her, I whisper, “Yes, the surgeon came in and told us we’re allowed to see Jimmy. He is up in ICU. If you don’t want Mark to be alone, I can go and ask Mitchell to sit with him while I take you up to see Jimmy.” I offer.

  She nods. “Yes, please. I don’t want Mark to wake up and see that no one’s here.” She then looks back over towards him.

  “Okay, I’ll be back in a minute.” I give her a quick hug, then go

  and ask Mitchell to sit with Mark for a while.

  As soon as the swap is made, I take Annette’s hand in mine while Zoe threads her arm through my free one. She holds on tight as the elevator brings us to the third floor, then up to the ICU unit.

  When we reach the unit’s doors, Annette pushes a button on the intercom that's outside of the ward and tells the nurse on the other end that we are here to see Jimmy.

  As we are buzzed through, I hang back, I don’t want to crowd the mother and son.

  The moment I see him, I want to go and ask the nurses if they’ve sent us to the right room. The man lying in front of me looks nothing like the Jimmy I grew up with. I honestly don’t recognize him at all.

  After looking him over, I can see his right arm and leg are in casts, and that he has tubes coming out of his chest, draining excess blood away. I look at his once beautiful face, and I want to cry. It's swollen and covered with cuts and bruises. He has a long line of sutures running from his right temple down to the side of his chin.

  The nurse looking after him explains to us that he's been placed into an induced coma to help him heal. If he were awake at this point, he'd be in excruciating pain he'd no doubt blackout from, so it's better if he sleeps.

  I watch on as Annette and Zoe sit and cry over him, and it takes all my willpower not to do the same. They need someone to be strong, and I guess that person is me.

  After ten minutes, the nurse politely asks us to leave as Jimmy’s brain activity is spiking. She explains he’s able to hear us, and he’s reacting to our voices which can put his body under stress.

  Reluctantly, we say our goodbyes, and on the way out, I walk between them, holding Zoe’s hand in one of mine and Annette’s in the other.

  As we reach Mark and Mitchell, I feel emotionally exhausted. Annette orders us to go home and get some rest, but we all know that Zoe isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

  Mitchell and I only leave the hospital because they promised to call us if there was any change in either of their conditions. When they agreed, reluctantly, we leave.

  As I hop in the car, I turn my phone on, and I see that are many missed calls and messages from Courtney, and my mother.

  I call Mum first because if I don’t, there will be hell to pay.

  “How’s Jimmy?” she asks. No, hello, nor, are you okay. That my friends, is my mother, Rose. When she talks to me in this manner, it always surprises me to think of how the hell my father stayed married to her for so damn long. The bitch must be amazing in bed. It’s the only explanation I can come up with.

  “He has a punctured lung, and his left arm and leg are broken. I just went to see him up in ICU, and I didn’t recognize him whatsoever,” I tell her.

  “Shit. What about Mark and Annette?”

  “Not good. When the surgeon came to tell us what was wrong with Jimmy, Mark clutched his chest and collapsed. He had a heart attack and is now asleep in a hospital bed. He has also been admitted.”

  “Shit.”

  “Yep.”

  “I’m going out now. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Bye.” She hangs up.

  Frustrated, I look over at Mitchell. He knows what she’s like, and we don’t even bother to discuss her selfishness anymore. He must know I’m looking at him because he takes my hand in his free one. “So, after all the shit today, is there anywhere particular you would like to eat?” he asks.

  “I’m not hungry, but I could do with a really strong coffee,” I tell him.

  “Okay, how does Café Revo, sound?”

  “It sounds perfect.”

  After arriving at the café, Mitchell asks me to find a table while he orders for us.

  Within a few minutes, he’s back with my vanilla latte, his latte, and a toasted sandwich. “You really should eat something,” he tells me.

  “I’m not hungry, Babe. I thought tonight was never going to end,” I tell him feeling overcome with exhaustion.

  “I know what you mean, Hun. I figured we were going to have to camp out at the hospital for the night,” he says, taking another bite of his sandwich.

  “I feel for Annette. The stress she must be enduring right now would be overwhelming. Thank you for being with me. If it weren't for you, I know I would have cracked under pressure,” I smile at him. Sure, we have our problems, but it means so much to me having him with me tonight. Maybe we've turned a corner? God, I hope so.

  Mitch reaches over and takes my hand. “I’m always here for you, Hun. You did a fantastic job with everyone tonight. You should be proud of yourself.”

  I’m taken back a little, but I thank him.

  After finishing our coffees, Mitchell asks, “Do you want to go for a walk, not far, but I think I just need a little air?”

  “That sounds nice.” I take his hand, and we walk along the shop fronts, and he comes to a stop out the front of a florist.

  I look up at him. “I hope you’re not thinking about going in there. You know how I feel about flowers.” I crinkle my brow.

  At the beginning of our relationship, he'd buy me flowers all the time. It took me months to get up the courage
to tell him what a waste of money I think flowers are. Since then, he buys me practical things like CDs, and DVDs, things I do very much appreciate. Sure, he doesn’t do it much these days, but once upon a time, he did. A lot.

  He shakes his head. “I know how you feel about flowers, Cassie. I wasn’t going to get them for you.” He smiles, “I was going to have them sent to the hospital.”

  Relieved, I say, “That is an excellent idea.” I follow him into the store and help him pick out a bunch to send to Annette via Jimmy’s bed number.

  When the bill has been paid, we continue walking down the street hand-in-hand. I love these moments we share, but I want to- no scratch that, I need to know how he feels about me. Only an hour ago, I watched on as Zoe cried over the man that has her heart. She knows exactly where she stands in her relationship with Jimmy. I want that, and if I can’t, I need to know that. I think I deserve at least that, don’t I? Fuck yes, I do.

  While we walk down the concrete sidewalk, I open my big mouth and blurt my words, “So, I know what I’m about to ask is random, but where do you think our relationship is going?” I can feel the butterflies fluttering around in my stomach. I don’t want to be in this position, and I don’t deserve to be in this position. I’m not a horrible person, or was I one in a previous life?

  “What do you mean?”

  “Let’s face it, I love you, and I think you love me,” As I say the words, Mitchell pulls us to a halt and looks over at me.

  “What do you mean? You don’t think I love you?” he asks, confusion spread across his features.

  I take a deep breath. "I only see you when you remember I exist. Until tonight, I hadn’t seen you in two weeks, Mitch. I feel like I’m only here when you have nothing better to do.” I feel a tear escape my left eye, and I quickly reach up to wipe it away. I don’t like to show emotion, especially when I’m out in public.

  He ducks his head so he can look me in the eyes. “Is that how you truly feel?”

  I nod my head. “Yes, yes, it is how I feel. A text a day isn’t what I would call a relationship, would you?”

  “I guess not.” He hangs his head. “I had no idea you felt this way.”